How to Get Invited Back...

If you came in second at poker last month..... do you really want to come in first next time you're invited to play? Some simple suggestions to ensure that third invite:

• *Even if you're dealt pocket aces, you should fold to let the host win the hand. (I had to do this countless times - it was brutal.)
• *Even if you've got a Queen high straight, pretend you don't so the host can win with a pair of threes.
• *Even if you've got a full house, pretend you don't so the host won't feel bad that he doesn't really know what a full house looks like (I know it can be confusing having to keep up with FIVE whole cards).
• *Even if you lose all your chips intentionally, pretend you are sad, and then act elated when your husband (who also is trying to throw the game to stroke the ego of the host) gives you half of his so you can stay in a little longer.
• *Even when you have less than the minimum bet left at the end of the evening, pretend to hold onto it fiercely, perhaps even viciously snapping at the newly-met man sitting next to you when he suggests you just throw it all in the pot.
• *Even when you make a rational decision to shout, "He has nothing, people!" when the above-mentioned man raises after two rounds of full-table checking, pretend you were actually invested in winning the hand, caught up in the moment... and then fold - giving the appearance of a loud-mouthed goof-ball. This helps with the image of loser you're trying to create.
• *Even when you successfully manage to lose all your husband's chips, just after he loses his remaining ones, pretend to be sad - it will make the host feel superior.
• *Even when the host THEN LOSES ALL HIS CHIPS IN THE NEXT HAND, feign indifference so he won't know how frustrated you are that even with all your best efforts, you were unable to succeed in getting him into the finals...

You buying all this?

Maybe I should just say.... FINE - Brian stayed in longer than I did. Whatever.

And congrats to Jill for second place and Emil for FIRST!
But that would be too easy.